Author Mary Vine: A Humorous Slant at Growing Older

My goal this fall is not to fall. I did fall recently−over my dog. Why is it when you fall when you are older, your brain tells you you’re falling but it doesn't do anything about it? When I was younger, I’d at least stick a hand out to help brace myself against a fall.

Thankfully, my dog didn’t get hurt and I didn’t break anything. I suffered a black eye. Yet, I didn’t have to wear makeup as the “eye” was all anyone looked at. My husband thought he’d be blamed for it, poor guy. And a friend asked if my dog was a boxer.

At my last wellness doctor appointment (before my fall), my doctor said my weight was okay, but I need to start exercising. I must have joked about it, or said no or something, because she raised her voice at me. First time ever.

I exercised when I was younger, using various machines I could fit into my home. I wasn’t always good about getting it done, but at least I didn’t forget I’d planned to exercise on a specific day without needing a reminder. Now, I must write it down, but often at bedtime, I recall that I’d forgot to exercise. Yes, I wrote it in my calendar, but I forgot to look at my calendar. I suppose I could move my fitness machine where I could see it, but then I might fall over it.

Now that I’m older I realized I’d had it wrong about exercising. I exercised to improve my waistline, which back then was just fine. Young people are so critical of their bodies, but that is another blogpost. Anyway, now I need to exercise for a stronger body, especially stronger legs.

Yet, this morning I read a Facebook post that seemed serious at the beginning but turned out to be humorous. It stated that if you exercise you will live longer. At age 85 you will have five more months to live in a nursing home. And then, he said his father walked five miles a day and now at age 92 he can’t find him.

As I write I am stationary, which doesn’t help accrue daily steps. But then on second thought, if I wasn’t a writer, I’d probably be stationary as well. I have deserted an office and a writing desk to sit in my very comfortable recliner as I write on my laptop. Why not be comfortable as I write?

No one is going to get me to write anywhere else, I tell you. I even have a recliner in my summer cabin. So, this fall’s strengthening program is going to be a goal I will have to work hard at. At least I can read while I sit on my incumbent exercise bike.

Hats off to all you writers who do get exercise, I admire you. I plan to be one of you soon. Uh…next week.

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