Tips on Relationships by Mary Vine
Writers consider many types of human relationships as they start to write a novel. The ins and outs of daily life and how these events affect their character’s life is a major part of what an author states and expands upon.
I have begun my seventh decade in life, so I have seen and learned different sorts of relationship traits, and outcomes, that are especially of interest to me, because I include romance in my fiction writing.
As I’ve watched teen couples over the years, I have seen girls seek to warn or attempt to remove the other girl/woman they found out about, when in fact it is your boyfriend that you need to talk to. What does he want? What if he shows that he doesn’t want to change? Don’t ignore it, thinking you will change him. That is an unhealthy mindset. You won’t. No matter the sadness, move on. The feelings or excitement the two of you have while in the dating period is the best you will probably ever have, so don’t be hanging on the fact that things will get better later.
And guess what? No one is perfect and we all have some kind of baggage, we are still experiencing the residual emotional effects from past situations in our lives that can even go back to our childhood.
One of the hardest things I’ve learned through the years was that once you fail to respect your partner, respect is nigh impossible to get back. A relationship hinges on mutual respect.
A sense of humor is good at every age. There is a quote I like by Dennis Haysbert that says, ‘Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying or getting overly angry or to maintain control.’ You indeed have a gift, if you and your spouse can see the humor in a situation and can laugh together (not necessarily in the moment, but soon after), relieving stress.
When I married my husband, I noticed that when we had a disagreement, he would leave the house in a huff. That continued for a while, but then eventually he didn’t leave the house but only went to the garage. Then after more years, he left the conversation by going into another room in the house. Now, after more time, he usually doesn’t leave the discussion (even if I may want him to). Obviously, over the years he learned to trust that I loved him and wanted to work things out. In preparation for this post, I asked him what relationship advice he had, he said, “To be straight up, tell the truth, and it helps everything work out after that.”
Can you have a relationship if you don’t share the same faith? Yes, I think so. We both believe in God but have different ways of showing it. I am totally fine with that, but I would be crushed if my husband didn’t believe in God.
As you grow older you most likely will find that some of the things that bothered you when you were younger don’t upset you anymore. Things you no longer feel are important, which helps not just your life, but your spouse’s life as well. Don’t waste stress on something that is no longer a priority or because someone else thinks you should.
My parents, and my husband’s, are now gone, but alive in our memories. We wished we would have asked them more questions about the past. Also, some of those of our age are ill, and friends and family are starting to pass as well.
I remember an older woman I’d talked to many years ago said, “Now that my husband has passed away, I miss hugs so much.” I thought I knew what that meant back then, but now, over time, I really know what she means. A hug, a touch of a hand, a kiss are appreciated because we know that we will not have that for many more years. Now, kindness and loyalty are the priority. In my long-held opinion, kindness and loyalty are the love story for every age.
All famous mystery author Stanton Black wanted was to leave the flashbulbs of Hollywood behind. Hiding out in the wilds of northeast Oregon seemed like the perfect way to get over an attempt on his life while researching his work. His latest novel would draw on the history of his ancestors and the lore of gold country. Now, all he needed was a suitable tour guide.
Special education teacher Maya Valentine was no tour guide. After the death of her parents, Maya has come home to Salisbury Junction for the summer only to have an ailing friend talk her into escorting Stanton around the area. As a pattern of crime around her and the newfound gold on her property leads to mystery, her relationship with Stanton turns to thoughts of romance. A romance too impossible to consider.
A courageous but naïve woman and a benevolent but cynical man
reconcile to evict ghosts and restore a mansion.
Taylor Glenn makes a deal on a haunted mansion in the town where she accepts her first teaching job. Her naïve optimism assures her that her depressed grandfather will come to life and help her rebuild it with the passion he once possessed for restoring old homes. Three deaths are connected to the tower room and no local workman will set foot inside except for the former owner, successful real estate developer, Dillon Nash. She wonders if this captivating man is the salvation she needs or an even greater threat to her survival when mysterious events happen in the house.
“Mary Vine has a knack for combining suspense with romance…”
-Night Owl Romance
Writing Romance with Humor, Suspense and Inspiration…
Writing Language-based Children’s Books that Educate, Inspire and Give Hope.
Mary describes herself as a late bloomer. She started writing at age 36. With practice and encouragement, she started writing romantic fiction and became a member and officer of a writer’s group.
Her story writing really took off when she discovered the pines, firs and rocky knolls of Northeast Oregon. Mary’s husband enjoyed panning for gold in the creeks, but she fell in love with the mining ghost towns and the history surrounding those areas. Three of her magazine articles based on ghost towns in Northeast Oregon, and the history of the Chinese miners who followed the white man to the mines, were published nationally. Mary has written books with gold mining or boom town settings, including a time travel series back to 1870 in Cracker Creek, which is now called Bourne, Oregon.
Mary is also a leader and speaker for the Idaho Creative Authors Network. She graduated from college and taught speech and language classes to K-12 students. She loved teaching idioms, sayings, expressions and proverbs that are important for language deficient students to learn. Her first children’s book deals with the phrase, THE BIG GUY UPSTAIRS.
Mary’s husband has Multiple Sclerosis and, over the last decade, she has seen firsthand that when unwelcome change comes along there is always something to be thankful for. She wanted people to know this, that there is hope in silver linings. Her latest children’s book displays this hope in BIJU SILVER LINING.